Awkward Situations: Talking to yourself.

We all do it; talk to ourselves. Have long conversations in our head. There's nothing abnormal about that. It's just some of us have trouble keeping it there, in our heads. The other night some friends and I were having a drink and discussing embarrassing situations in which we were caught talking to ourselves. I can remember two such situations and one were I was caught dancing to myself.

1) And then you die...of embarrassment

I went to school in Nebraska, and it gets cold and icy there. It was my senior year and that winter had been particularly cold. I remember that during this incident I'm about to explain, the high temperature that week, not day, week, was -3°F (-19°C) with a windchill of freeze your face off. In order to get to the university from where I lived, I had to walk over this pedestrian bridge. You could also reach a parking lot from there, so the bridge was frequented by many people. It was in an arc, so naturally towards the top it was super windy, freezing, and ice patches had formed along the way. There wasn't exactly a tall railing either, so walking to school was like running an obstacle course. Well, I suppose since it was icy, it wasn't so much running as slowly penguin waddling it to school. Anybody who lives in an area with loads of snow knows exactly what I'm taking about.

This one day, as I was walking over the bridge, I was talking to myself thinking, can you imagine if you were walking too fast and then slipped and fell over the railing? It'd like like whoops, and then you die, and chuckled a little to myself.  What I hadn't realized was, as I was walking, someone was coming in the opposite direction and I had said out loud, "and then you die" and then laughed just as they passed me. I can't describe the look of horror that came from their face as they ran away as quickly as their penguin waddle could take them. I wanted to say, "No, no not what I meant!", but instead I just hung my head in shame and waddled in the opposite direction to class. Had that happened in today's world I'm sure I would have been arrested.


2) Uh...New Year's is not the next holiday.

This one isn't so much awkward as it is random. Back in the day, before the digital age that is, you used to have to take your film in to have it developed. Well I was with a friend at Walmart doing just this, in August. The guy behind the counter was filling out the form, how many pictures, glossy or matt, etc. (Brings back memories, doesn't it?) and suddenly he stopped and looked at me. He goes, "Uh, New Year's isn't the next holiday." I was like, "I know, it's only August." He goes, "You just said that New Year's was the next holiday." I go, "No, I didn't" then looked at my friend. She nodded her head and was like, "Yes, you did." I was like, "Really?" They both nodded confused.

I wish I had known what was going on in my brain at that exact moment. I have absolutely no recollection of thinking of any sort of holiday. I do tend to have these brain spasms, which you'll read more of later.



3) Dance...like everyone is watching.

I like to listen to music when I walk around. It makes it as though I'm living in my own own movie, and the music is my soundtrack. Sometimes I have my dance music on and I can't help but wanna jam a little. This one day, while I was waiting to cross the street at a red light, I was jamming. Apparently quite noticably, because suddenly a car honked. I looked around and caught myself mid dance. Surrounded by a couple of other people staring at me. Luckily, the green signal to cross the street came on and I slowly walked away with my head hung in shame.