Things my students say: Everything come out OK?

I had this group once of 40-something adults. One of the guys drank nothing but coffee all day. He would bring in this giant thermos of coffee every day and drink and drink and drink. The class lasted from 8am-2:45pm, so naturally, at some point, he'd have to poop. Understood, but no need to mention it.

Well, on test day, they had had plenty of time before the test to use the restroom, but as soon as I was ready to start the listening section, the coffee guy, was like, "I have to go to the bathroom." I was only slightly annoyed because I was thinking of children and the whole, why didn't you go before? So anyways, we waited. And waited. And waited. And waited some more. After about 10 minutes of waiting on him, we all knew what he was up to, but one student, a retired butcher in his late 40s, just had to take it there.

At one point, everyone, there were 4 of us, made eye contact with each other, then retired butcher gets this huge grin on his face and says what everyone is thinking. He nods knowingly, " Er macht eine Dicke." Which, if you don't know German, is basically equivalent to, "He's dropping a fat one."

Then after another 2 minutes of awkward silence, and me covering my face with my hands, coffee guy walks back in, sits down, sighs in a very refreshed way, and the test began.